“It’s a positive thing to have women involved in the economy! I want to be a good role model to my children! I think it’s also good to value relational investment. Economic value is not the only way to have value. “
—JANE, a pharmacist and mother of 3
Every family, at one time or another, must make hard decisions so they can function. Today 90% of married women become mothers at some point in their lives. Every day, mothers are making decisions on what their lives will look like after their children are born. Traditional perspectives prioritize motherhood as a woman’s primary career. As more options for work and childcare become available, more mothers have stayed in the workforce. Some have chose to stay at home. Let’s hear stories from U.S mothers as they navigate careers with their families.
Kaitlyn: What work did you do before you were stay at home moms (SAHMs)? Do you consider going back there or possibly somewhere else once the kids are grown?
Virginia: Before becoming a stay at home mom I worked in a drug testing laboratory. I weighed drug test samples and helped the lab preform its tests. I liked my job, but I didn’t make enough for it to be worth it. All the money I would have made would have just went to daycare. Yes, I’ve thought about going back to work once the girls are big enough. I went to college for conflict management and so far, I haven’t been able to use my degree. I still have a passion for management. I’ve thought about working for a bakery some of my friends were trying to set up.
Emily: Before becoming a SAHM I was a graphic designer for a local university. I designed content for websites. I do eventually want to go back to work. My current plan is to wait until my future youngest child is in late elementary or early middle school. Ideally, I’d like to do some part time marketing when I can so that I can still focus on my family.
Kaitlyn: Do you see women in the workforce as a positive or negative impact on the overall economy?
Virginia: For many women it is the only way to financially afford everything. I also think if you’re able to stay home, that’s fine too. There is so much mom-guilt out there. How is raising the next generation not important? Everyone has a different situation. Each family should evaluate their needs and do what’s best for their family. For me, my family meant more to me than participating in the economy for these years while my children are growing up. I didn’t have much family around to provide extra care and it was more financially feasible for me to be at home.
Emily: I don’t think women in the workforce is bad! Sometimes moms need both the extra income and socialization. I do think something needs to be said that it’s really important to raise your family. You can totally work part-time if you need to. The Bible places a high value of discipling your children.
Kaitlyn: I get that! Each family will have different needs. It’s more common for families in the U.S. to live farther apart and you’re not alone in thinking childcare is expensive! How have your husbands and family supported your decision to stay at home?
Virginia: I wouldn’t be able to stay at home with the kids without Michael. He’s just so supportive and needed in our family. For our family me staying home was an easy decision to make. Although it’s not just Michael or family, I think my friends have also been incredibly supportive. Being a SAHM is psychologically challenging. You do not process things or talk things out like you would with adults. You are focused on the needs of others and it is incredibly healthy to talk with friends. Even if it’s the silly things of what my daughters do on the daily, I’m lucky to have a community to share these things with.
Emily: Luke encourages me all the time in saying that my work is important! He also supports me by stepping in to help when I need it! I’m very lucky to heavy support from both my friends and family. I have a group of other SAHMs that meet up weekly. This really helps with socialization and building friendship. It’s really nice to have a group of women who don’t care if your house is clean or even if you have one brain cell left. They want us to share that one brain cell and support one another!
Since Covid 19, flexible schedules have created more options for work. Amy and Jane are mothers using this flexibility as they work both outside the home and serve their families.
Kaitlyn: Give us a glimpse at what life has been like for you and your family?
Amy: For the first 3 months I was a hermit at home because it was hard to pump breastmilk every 3hrs. Now I try most days to get out either with friends or a neighborhood walk. In the weeks before I started working PRN I was terrified. I personally didn’t want to use a daycare. In our area they are both very expensive and something my husband, Chris, and I both agreed we weren’t going to do. During the summer my friend could watch my son, Jason, while I worked. Once she had to go back to work my mother in-law has begun watching him as I work.
Kaitlyn: It’s so easy for women to feel like they have to be everything all the time. Not to mention going to college and investing all that time, money and energy makes you want to use that! What have been the main challenges of becoming a mom and navigating your career?
Amy: I struggled with making my career my identity because I worked hard to get my degree. I had this idea that if I didn’t use it, it would be a waste. I now see my nursing career as a skill that I can use to provide for my family instead of part of my identity. My family is supportive of either decision Chris and I would have made.
Kaitlyn: That’s awesome nursing can be so flexible! How does your work effect your family? Are there any good or bad effects to the days you work?
Amy: The days I work my house falls apart. It almost feels like I need two days to recover which I think is kind of funny. It is a sacrifice to take a pay cut but my family makes it work. It’s really awesome that God provided for us so that I can work PRN.
Kaitlyn: That makes sense there is a big schedule difference between a home day and a work day. If you have any, do you have any concerns, regrets or hopes in your current situation or even a past situation?
Jane: Sometimes I think about what it would be like if I were to return to work full time however, I have no regrets. I know some would regret to leave the workforce. In my field, full time is often not 40 hours a week. It’s easy to take on about 60 hours of work a week. I worked very hard to get my doctorate degree. I still want to practice, however my priority is to be involved with my children and ministry. I feel like if I did work full time I would miss out.
Kaitlyn: What did work life look like before you became a mom? Do you consider going back to work once your children are grown?
Jane: I worked around 40-60 hours a week and I enjoy healthcare because I like taking care of patients. When I was working full time, my job was the breadwinner in my household. I’ve thought about the possibility of going back full time once my children are older but, I am not completely sure about that. There’s a lot of fear for me to go back full time. Will I have mom brain, will I be out of practice with my skills? I have looked into the possibility of remote work. It is important to me to be present in what I am doing. I am very involved with my church, friends and family. I’ve been humbled in that, for the longest time I thought I could have it all and I got to the point where I needed to choose a more balanced life.
Kaitlyn: Do you see women in the workforce as a positive or negative impact on the overall economy?
Jane: I definitely think it’s a positive thing to have women involved in the economy! I want to be a good role model to my children! I think it’s also good to value relational investment. Economic value is not the only way to have value. Growing up my mom was a SAHM and I had no respect for her for the longest time. Sometimes you gotta get to the other side of all of that to understand. The truth of it all is someone’s going to raise them. This is the next generation and I don’t want to be crammed every day and focus on only functional things.
Fast facts about Moms & the economy…
40.5% of all mothers with children under 18 are equal, primary or sole income earners for their family. When looking at different races, 36.4% are White.
Non-Hispanic mothers and 39.3% of Hispanic mothers are equal, primary or sole breadwinners, and the percentage of Black mothers is a staggering 65.9%
In addition to taking care of their own children many mothers invest time in improving their community. Between 2020 and 2021, nearly two in three mothers raising children under 18 (59.6%) volunteered with an organization or helped to improve their community. *Women’s Bureau analysis of the Current Population Survey.
Mothers who work experience a “motherhood wage penalty” resulting in lower earnings. Over their lifetimes, these lower wages, coupled with reduced work hours due to care giving obligations, result in employment-related costs to mothers of more than $295,000.
*Stats from the U.S. Department of Labor Blog
Kairos, means just the right moment or optimal time. Whether it’s addressing injustice or harnessing opportunities… in South Asia, we, as a movement of women, enter those crucial moments… and turn potential into transformation in a woman’s life.
The idea of ‘Kairos’ really hits home when thinking about women who stand to gain from opportunities such as education and microloans. Through support, we can open doors for women, doors that were once firmly shut. Harsh work environments and poverty are replaced by a better way of life for women and their families—true transformation. Get updates from the field with stories from women experiencing
this transformation. Sign up to receive our monthly updates about the work happening on the ground.